The Passage

The Passage by Justin Cronin, was recommended to me by my favorite book store on Burlingame Ave.  They know I have a dark side and suggested this book as being right up my line.  Overall I enjoyed the book, but I was surprised by the editing issues, missing words and mixed up sentences.  Mostly in the beginning, but I would have thought a book as promoted as this one would have been more polished.  OK, everyone can stop laughing now.  I realize this might be funny coming from me, but it was a little annoying.

The Passage is broken up into two distinct parts.  You walk through the first three hundred pages in today’s current environment.  The military funded scientists are doing their dastardly deeds and setting us all up for something, we just can’t quite figure out what.  Wolgast, an aging FBI agent is the primary focus as he rolls through the country picking up 12 distinct prisoners.  These twelve have been chosen because they are on death row, have nothing left to live for and are ripe for some experimental fun.  I have one question to all of the mad scientists in the world; why in the hell do you always pick prisoners to experiment on.  They are bad people, that is why they are in prison.

In addition to the twelve, a small six year old girl is chosen.  Now it is one thing to mess with death row inmates but when you bring in a small child, and a girl for that matter, you are pulling the shoe strings that hold the tear ducts closed for most of America.  So they inject this group of subjects with some radical virus and, wait for it, they transform into some freaky gruesome creatures, except for the small girl.  We don’t really know what she turns into.  And get this, Cronin, in some sick twisted turn of fate, chooses to use child molesters as his janitors in the storyline.  This guy might have a mind more twisted than even mine.

So I really don’t want to give anything away, and I am pretty sure this next part is pretty well know.  The world implodes and the creatures commence killing off all mankind.  Interestingly enough, they kill off only 9 out of 10 people.  Each tenth person gets to join the gang and become one of them.  They don’t have a choice, they just get turned.  It is an interesting twist on vampires as a genre and I for one think it is much more entertaining than anything remotely related to twilight.  Monsters are monsters, let them kill people and stop kissing for God’s sake.

The last 500 pages or so concentrate on the world after the apocalyptic destruction.  We jump to an outpost of a few humans who have walled themselves into a compound and have created their own little existence.  I had some issues with the volume in this area.  In one chapter, when the lights were getting ready to go out, we read what was happening from 5 different perspectives.  It got mundane and was difficult to muddle through.  I think Cronin lost some momentum by inundating us with some needless information.  Just my two cents, but I think the book would have been better served being edited down.

Peter is the main character in our post destruction phase and you really bond with this young man as he struggles with settlement politics, fights with the normal manly desires all while keeping watch against the virils.  The virils are constantly probing the perimeter waiting for any chance to chow down on some tasty human flesh.  I will say this about Cronin; he has no problem with killing off people in his novels.  I believe I can say this without giving too much away, nobody is safe; anyone can die at any point in time.

I really did enjoy this book.  It is very dark, deeply disturbing at times and a wonderfully written.  With some editing and purging it could have been perfectly magnificent but as it stands I would give it a solid 4 stars.  Anyone who enjoys a decent horror novel and vampires as they should be written, this is a must read.  I can’t wait to read his next book in this series.  He left things pretty wide open for more books than Harry Potter has movies.  He could just keep going and going with this story and I for one hope he does.

Adriana Lima, Another Saturday Morning.

As I wake up at 4 AM not able to sleep on yet another Saturday morning I really begin to question my sanity.  It is just too early to be up.  Isn’t this the day we should all be sleeping in.  I then perused through some past posts on JournalStone and realized I have never written anything on Adriana Lima.  Now it could be that I am just too tired to actually find it, but if it is true, and I think it is, the travesty shall never be lived down.  This is Adriana Lima we are talking about.  How could anyone in their right mind write blog posts on models for over a year, and leave her out.

So I have decided to turn the ship around and settle the score.  My slate is clean and I feel healthy again.  There is nothing like taking the time to refresh your image.  Just ask Budweiser.  According to USAToday the beverage manufacturer has decided to make a huge push at upgrading their image.  The latest effort?  Give people free beer.  Now I am not a Budweiser fan, but if I were sitting in a bar and somebody offered me a free beer I would take them up on it.  Unless there were strings attached of course.

I like a free beer as much as the next guy but if a dude is buying me a free beer I might ask what the motive was.  Not that there is anything wrong with that mind you.  Damn, I do love Seinfeld.  Anyway, if Eddie Long offered to buy me a beer and then head back to his hotel room for a massage I would politely decline.  What is it with pastors and why do so many of them get charged with sexual misconduct.  Are all men pigs but some of us hide behind the cloak and dagger routine.

While I am on the subject, what kind of name is Eddie Long for a pastor to begin with?  Please, is it only me that sees the irony in this.  The dude has a name like Eddie Long, he gets in trouble for taking a few young men up to his room, allegedly of course, and he has nothing to do with the porn industry?  I say if you hire a pastor with the name Eddie Long you shouldn’t wonder why you ended up with the short end of the stick when the crap hits the fan.  You should have seen the poke coming facebook fans.  Stop hiding your head in the sand.

Unless the sand is on the beach and Adriana Lima happens to be doing a Victoria’s Secret shoot.  Then you can play in the sand all day long, no worries there.

Sometimes I feel like a nut and sometimes I really wish I could still be sleeping at 5 AM on a Saturday morning.  What in the hell is wrong with me anyway.  On the other hand, not literally of course, if you are going to be awake on a Saturday morning at this early hour, there are far worse ways to enter the day than taking a quick peek at Adriana.  Good Morning Vietnam.  Wait a minute, maybe I am having a flashback.

9 years

I was in 3rd grade when I woke up at 6 AM to my parents crying on the phone. Nine years ago, a devastating and tragic event had come upon our country. I walked into the living room watching my mom talking frantically in Spanish to her side of the family in Chile and then found my dad on the couch, crying. 

It was the first time I had seen my father cry as much as he did.  I couldn’t quite comprehend what was happening at the time, all I did know was that American Airlines flight 11 and United Airlines Flight 175 had been flown into the World Trade Center. At around 8:15 AM my mother decided to drive me to school.

When I walked into my 3rd grade class room I had watched parents with blood shot eyes, and confused looks on my classmates faces, with so many questions filled in their eyes…it was an innocent curiosity. It was the one that wanted to know, however our parents wanted to protect us from the news.

We were young… We wouldn’t be able to understand what had happened anyway. After a long day at school, my mom had picked me up and drove me home. By the time I was home, I walked into the living room and had noticed my dad had still been glued to the T.V…My father has been working for American Airlines for over 28 years as an aircraft engineer and so now you can picture why 9/11 had affected my family and our lives so much. The lives of the Crew, that had been near and dear to my family, had been lost.  

A few hours after I got home, I found out 2 other planes had been destroyed. One had flown into the Pentagon and another had hit some land, in Pennsylvania.  Still not really understanding the situation, I knew it was going to change everything from that moment on. As of right now, being a senior in high school, I have seen how 9/11 has impacted citizens, as a nation, People as a family and every one as a person.

As time passed, now the history, the story of September 11th is now not only in the memories of all of us, however it is now, in our History text books, the re-runs of the news as the event had struck is now on You Tube and people have written books and movies about what happened, what could have happened, and what precautions could have been taken in action to have avoided this horrible day that is known as September 11th. 

American citizens and people of the world will never forget the depressing and heart wrenching images that follow us in our memories and in our hearts as September 11th re-appears every year, however it’s a day that helps us remember that yes we are a nation however we are a Nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

R.I.P TO THE 2,977 PEOPLE WHO HAD LOST THEIR LIVES IN NEW YORK, ARLINGTON AND SHANKSVILLE.

R.I.P TO THE FLIGHT CREWS OF AMERICAN AIRLINES FLIGHTS 11 AND 77.

R.I.P TO THE FLIGHT CREWS OF UNITED AIRLINES FLIGHTS 175 AND 93

R.I.P CHARLES BURLINGAME (Captain of American Airlines flight 77.)

Middle Men

I don’t get it.  The movie was on the long side and I found it difficult to stay awake during the latter half.  Luke Wilson, who I absolutely love, was in my opinion badly miscast.  He in any form would have a difficult time convincing me as a character that could stand up to the mob, of any sort or size.  Setting that flaw aside, the movie meandered along through most of the scenes in a monotone soliloquy, narrated by our miscast actor, who plays the main character.  Other than flashing a few breasts now and then, there was really little suspense, drama, or enticement.  I will say that the story was intriguing and if it had been better cast and directed, it might have drawn me into the movie a little better.

Luke Wilson plays Jack Harris, an all around fix it man.  If you have a problem with your business, you call Jack and he will fix it for you.  Giovanni Ribisi and Gabriel Macht are two guys that own a business, and they are doing a fantastic job of screwing it up.  You see the internet is just getting off of the ground and nobody has any idea how to capitalize from it.  These two brilliant idiots figure out how to charge credit cards online for viewers who want to watch a little porn.  Not a bad business plan as we know all too well today.

There first problem is how to get the porn.  So they enlist the Russian mob to help them out.  The Russian mob happens to own a strip club and they are all about broadcasting nudity over the web, as long as they get a very large cut of the funds.  Our two heroes start out well, but they get a little to intrigued stuffing drugs up their noses and the next thing they know, the mob is threatening to kill them.  Are you following along?  Somehow a very very very old looking James Caan hooks them up with Luke Wilson and he rides in to save their asses.

Unfortunately Luke pisses off James Caan by cutting him out of the deal, accidently pisses off the Russian mafia by snuffing a guy out, and generally has his hands full with the two idiots who started the business to begin with.  Throw in the fact that he is made of flesh and blood and gets a little too caught up in the smoking hot women side of things, and you have a melting pot that is ready to explode, it is just a matter of time.

The story is intriguing and it has more naked breasts than any movie I can think of in a long time (not that this is my barometer for a good movie), but it was just too much on the slow and boring side.  It seems I might be in the minority but when I looked around the theater, very few people were sitting up in their seats.  Most of them were fighting to keep their eyes open.

I would give it a mediocre rating, three stars at best.  If you wait to watch it on DVD you would be better served than seeing this one in the theater.  Just don’t drink too much wine before viewing it; you might wake up to see the credits rolling by having slept through the main feature.

The Other Guys

I have not laughed this hard since “The Hangover”.  This has to be the best comedy I have seen this summer, hands down.  I only wish I could think of a TLC lyric to bring it all home.  Does anyone remember “Waterfalls”?  From the wooden gun to the non-stop one liners, I was rolling in the floor.  Will Ferrell has not been this good since “Old School” and Mark Wahlberg was ever bit his comedic equal in this fantastic film.  From Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne Johnson all the way to Michael Keaton, everyone was amazing.  Whoever did the casting for this movie took a second seat to only one person, the writers.  The script was drop dead hilarious.

Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg play two down and out cops?  Mr. Ferrell seems to be stuck in his rut by his own choice and since I don’t want to give anything away, let’s just say that Mark Wahlberg made a colossal mistake to have found his way down to the lower levels of hell.  Luckily the two of them are partners.  Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne Johnson are the heroes of New York City but do to some unforeseen circumstances, they quickly relinquish their title.  Wanting to seize the opportunity of the new opening for a hero, our two bumbling cops attempt to solve a very big case. 

Apparently some guy has been constructing some buildings without getting a scaffolding permit.  Are you kidding me?  The two losers meander down to arrest him and fall into a very large case of fraud and an attempted robbery, of a very large nature.  I am trying very hard not to give away any of the punch lines in this film but admittedly it is difficult to write this review without doing so, since I was laughing the entire movie.  From driving the Prius into a bucket full of cocaine, all the way to being disgusted about the four homeless guys using it as a sex toy, I was laughing continually. 

Have I said yet it was too damn funny, and this is coming from the guy who only a few months ago said Will Ferrell was washed up.  Talk about eating your words.  Even Eva Mendes was fabulous as the homely housewife of Will Ferrell that Mark Wahlberg couldn’t seem to stop ogling. 

With some movies you see all the laughs crammed into the two minute commercial and when you see the full length feature there is nothing left.  With this movie the commercial is only the tip of the iceberg.  The explosion scene was funny but trust me, if you liked the commercials, you will flat out love the movie.  Everyone in the theater was holding their stomachs from beginning to end. 

This is a must see movie.  It was absolutely incredible.

Knight and Day

I am reading the reviews of this movie wondering if I saw the same film.  Granted, it is pretty funny.  At times I am not sure it was intending to be funny, which doesn’t necessarily bode well for the film, but it was humorous none the less.  As an omen, when I walked into the theater to see this film, five minutes before the start time, there was not a single person sitting in the seats.  Nobody.  That doesn’t necessarily bode well for the film either.  Can we say strike two?  I did like the direction the movie was attempting to go though.  Veering away from the Mission Impossible genre just enough while still including enough action sequences to remind us that it was a Tom Cruise film.

I think at times the movie struggled with an identity.  I am not sure the writers/directors had made their decision on what kind of experience to portray, and that left me feeling like it was lacking direction.  I will say that Cameron Diaz and even in a couple of sequences, Tom Cruise, had me rolling on the floor laughing.  The broken drugged dream sequences were pretty imaginative as well, although the ending seemed a little farfetched.  I guess that goes hand in hand with the motorcycle scenes which are now becoming a signature of the spy series.  They are just flat out ridiculously laughable.

Anyway, Tom Cruise is our every day spy, who yet again is battling the bad guys.  This time it appears that the bad guys are really the good guys and somebody in our government is trying to betray our local hero.  He manages to bump into Cameron Diaz on a plane ride home and her life never does get back to reality.  I have heard people compare this to “Mr. and Mrs. Smith which I think is pretty farfetched.  Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise in no way can compare to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt on any level at this point in their careers.  I did say at this point in their careers people.

So Tom has a really juicy battery, and the guy that invented it, and he is trying to protect both from pretty much everyone on the planet.  I wish I could say there was more to the plot, but that is really about it.  The rest of the movie jumps from one location to the next with Tom and Cameron fighting and killing a whole lot of people.  I am sure I will get roasted for this review, but when Tom Cruise stops mid scene, during the heat of a gun battle to give Cameron a loving kiss hello, mostly to shut her up mind you, he somehow manages to avoid a few hundred bullets without even trying.  That really sums up the entire movie.

So if you are interested in a mindless movie that absolutely will make you laugh and some impossible to believe farfetched action sequences, then this is your movie.  I would highly suggest having a six pack of beers before flipping on the go switch though.  Everything looks a little better with a six pack and that might be just what this movie needs.  I wonder if theaters will at some point in time start passing out tequila shots with the 3D glasses.  Just think how much money they could save.  People would be seeing all kinds of affects, and the cost of the films would be drastically reduced.

Average film, but not a complete waste of time if you have already seen most of the other movies playing.

Go ahead, I can take it.  Start telling me how insane I am.

The Cutting Edge

“The Cutting Edge” is the latest endeavor by Darcia Helle in her vast array of growing novels offered up for her avid fans consumption.  I must admit that this is the first of her books which I have read, and for the most part found myself wonderfully entertained.  With the focus of ”The Cutting Edge” centering on a serial killer and a common hairdresser’s obsession with blood, the content falls in line with my book, Duncan’s Diary.  Maybe all of us crazy people flock to the same party, who knows. 

I have to admit I did find it hard to emotionally relate to the characters though.  Darcia’s writing style, at least in this novel, reminded me of a newspaper article stating the details without giving me the connection I needed to find myself lost in her words.  I kept thinking of the old version of “Dragnet” where the main line “Just the facts” rings true over and over again.  I think she would be better served tying her readers to the storyline by caging us in, much in the same way her crazy characters fantasize about death.  That being said, she is obviously very talented and the book kept me engaged throughout the roller coaster ride of insanity.

Skye Summers is a common hairstylist, working in a local salon in a small town.  She knows most of her clientele, and can’t even escape to the park without running into people she has some form of connection with through her occupation.  She is married to a hunk of a man, who spends an ample amount of time pleasing her, and deals with the ups and downs of a child he had before they became a couple.  I can relate to the insanity of ex-wives and had no problems understanding the issues they bring to the table.

All of the stress begins to wear on Skye and she finds herself fantasizing about chopping up her customers as she is cutting their hair.  Lopping off an ear lobe, or slicing and dicing their skulls, all while she is meticulously coloring some poor middle aged woman’s flowing mop.  The ins and outs of the customers gives us an intriguing view of how crazy it is for a hairdresser to keep all of the multiple personalities straight.  I have no idea if Darcia Helle was a stylist in a previous life, but she easily paints a realistic picture of what the life might actually be like.

As Skye falls deeper into her fantasy of murder, the reality of death opens up as a real life serial killer begins stalking their small community.  Instead of finding herself appalled, Skye on some level commiserates with the murderer as she also harbors feelings of butchering many of the women she deals with every single day.  When fantasy and reality come together Skye finds herself confronted with her imagination, and the real life serial killer hits home in her personal life in ways she never imagined.  The real question is how Skye will react when given the opportunity to live out her wildest dreams.

I don’t want to give away too much of the books climactic ending, but I again have to emphasize how much I enjoyed the parallel of fiction versus fantasy.  We all have dark thoughts but when it comes down to the final minute, how many of us are really capable of living out the insanity that flitters through our minds.  Most of us will never know the answer to that question, but for better or worse, Skye will have to make her choice.

Learning to Cry is Published

Learning to Cry is now available at Barnes & Noble.  It should be showing up on Amazon any day now.  JournalStone’s first published book as we delve ever further into the literary industry.  Awesome.  Take a look.  Who knows, you might even want to buy a copy.  Currently only in paperback but the hard cover is coming out very soon.

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/books/e/9780982811900/?itm=1&USRI=learning+to+cry

The bond between a father and daughter is strong enough to weather the most violent storms, but it can also bring savage heartache. From the moment Melissa enters this world in a flurry of chaos and happiness, she holds and manipulates her father’s love.  There is no way to predict the roller-coaster ride they face.

Almost overnight, Melissa’s father loses his sweet, little girl. Left in her place is an erratic, unstable, deeply unhappy teenager who is hell-bent on obliterating boundaries and pushing her father, as well as her mother and sisters, to the breaking point. Caught in the middle of her parents’ divorce, she doesn’t hide her disdain for the rules. But she goes to great lengths to keep her father ignorant of just how far into trouble she falls or how she’s trapped by three “friends” from whom there is no escape.

Overwhelmed by the stress his crumbling marriage causes, Melissa’s father struggles to keep his own life together while trying to save his daughter from the point of no return. He finds himself, alone, bound by his own four walls, drowning in loneliness and tears. Melissa’s father, it seems, will have to lose it all to bring her back from the brink.  

One person dies or is injured in an alcohol-related accident on an American road every minute. Thousands of teenagers die every year because they either drive drunk or they get in the car with someone who’s had too many. It’s a mistake that changes lives forever.

Wild-child Melissa is a teenager who experiments with drugs and alcohol to dangerous degrees. She lives for the next party, the next opportunity to sneak out of the house, the next chance to get high in a friends’ room after their parents go to bed. But, that all changes the night she gets into a car after those three margaritas.

Gone are the wild parties, gone are the nights spent with friends, gone are her years of rebellion. That life is cut short, leaving her father, who stoically watched her downward spiral, to learn how to cry. 

Jennifer’s Body

Ok, I finally did it.  I watched Jennifer’s Body last night.  I can’t believe how badly the movie was trashed while it was in theaters.  It really wasn’t that bad.  Actually it was a decent horror flick, and Megan Fox held her own in her first leading role.  Granted this isn’t Shakespeare, but people, the movie is absolutely worth watching.  I do question the writing with lines like, “You give me a wettie”, “Put it in”, “Am I too big”, “Am I hurting you” and my favorite line, right after Megan Fox was stabbed with a 10 foot pole and blood was squirting out of her gut says, “do you have a tampon?”  It jumped pretty quickly from a true horror flick to a comedic spoof I believe.  I must have missed the leap though.

Jennifer (Megan Fox) is a high school cheerleader and by far the hottest girl in school, now this doesn’t take a stretch to believe.  She hangs out with her best friend Amanda Seyfried and the two lean towards lesbianism, even though Amanda has a long term boyfriend.  Sorry, but I might have to watch the movie again based on the above sentence alone.  I do have to throw a snapshot in here as well about the kissing scene.  It might be one of the all time best girl on girl kissing scenes in any movie to date.  OK, now back on track.  Jennifer and Amanda head to a bar for a night out, and that is where all hell breaks loose.

It appears that the band worships the devil and they need a virgin to sacrifice in order to push their career over the edge.  They choose Megan Fox; now how they thought she was a virgin is beyond me.  With her already having experienced sexual relations, in several different ways according to her monologue, the sacrifice goes badly and our darling Megan turns into a flesh eating demon.  How can you fault her for getting a little carried away with her dietary supplements?  She is Megan Fox after all.  Let her feast on as much flesh as she would like.

So things start going a little whacky when half eaten bodies begin to show up, and in the end it really begins to piss Amanda off.  She might be the nice book worm side arm to the smoking hot Megan Fox, but even she has her limits.  Once Megan threatens Amanda’s boyfriend the war commences and the girls start to battle.  I guess that long drawn out passionate kiss they shared did little to heal the animosity a demon can stir up in the loins.  So crazy girl Amanda does her best and without giving away the ending, if that matters, you do get to see a little blood spilled before the finally curtain call.

Again, not an Oscar level movie, but not a bad showing for what the movie was intended to be.  I do think the writers and director should have made it a little more clear cut on whether it was a comedy or an all out horror flick.  It really did seem to flip too suddenly and the comedic undertone almost seemed unintentional.  It is worth taking a look at if you get bored one evening.  Don’t expect anything ground breaking but you will be entertained for a couple of hours if you like seeing smoking hot girls, lots of blood and listening to one liners like Megan saying, “My tit” and Amanda responding, “No your heart” when she stabbed her in the chest with a box cutter from Home Depot.

Drinking age should be Lowered.

Alcohol consumption in the state of California is legal when you become 21. By the time you are 21, you have already graduated high school (hopefully), have your driver’s license, maybe you are even living on your own.  By then, and if you are one of the brave ones, you enlisted in the military. You can do all these things before you can drink alcohol legally.

Sure, a lot of us have had our fair share of alcohol before 21 (we all will remember high school), but we did not drink legally. The law states that teenagers of the age of 16, can drive a car that can kill a person in an accident, at 18, civilians can vote for the president of the U.S.A., go to basic training and learn how to use weapon machinery, go to war and experience life altering and life threatening experiences before you can have a drink of alcohol legally.  That is just ridiculous.  

The U.S. causalities in Iraq are the ages between 20 and 22, meaning people can go to war and die before having a drink of alcohol legally. Has anyone ever thought if someone is responsible enough to go to college, live on their own, drive, vote, make mature and life altering decisions, maybe they are old enough and wise enough to handle alcohol? Just a thought….

Has anyone ever thought High School parties would be more enjoyable if the host and people at the party didn’t have to worry about the police busting them?  I don’t have anything against police, I know they enforce the law, however what if there is a certain law that is just blasphemy.

If the drinking age was lowered, it would give people time to learn how to drink responsibly, to know when enough is enough.  About a year ago, I went to France for one month.  I remember going into pubs and seeing many teens, between the ages of 14-17 enjoying a glass of beer, and guess what? I didn’t see one that was passed out on the ground.

They all drank maturely, which is different from what people normally would see in the US.  People on their 21st birthday go ballistic, because they can finally drink legally. Why must people go through that kind of torture? I’m not necessarily saying drinking is the most important thing.  The thought however, of having a bottle of beer without having to worry about a person of higher authority ruining somebody’s casual relaxation and fun, is rather nice.

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