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RIO

September 6, 2011 By Leave a Comment


Title: Rio

Director: Carlos Saldana

Genre: Animation/Family/Adventure/Musical

Format: DVD

Rating: PG

Rio is about a blue Macaw named aptly, Blu.

Blu is “birdnapped” as a baby from Rio by smugglers that traffic him into the US. He is found after his crate falls from a truck by a little girl named Linda.

Fast forward about 15 years, a man from Rio (Tulio) stumbles into Linda’s bookstore to inform her that Blu is the possibly the last male of the species and he has a female (Jewel) at his sanctuary in Rio De Janerio.

He implores Linda to help, to take Blue there so that the two can mate, thus helping restore the species and then they can come back home.

Sounds like an easy enough plan right?

Well, if it were, it wouldn’t be that good of a movie, huh?

Blu AND Jewel are birdnapped by the traffickers to be sold to the highest bidder.

While the two don’t get along at first, they have no choice but to now work together to get out of the mess so Blu can get back home to Minnesota with his owner Linda.

It took me three painstaking days to finish this movie.

Not because it was bad, but because I have a 15-month-old who gets side tracked very easily.

He could watch it for about 15 minutes at a time (which is a testament to how good this movie is), before moving on to something different like trying to force the dog to eat baby wipes.

ANYHOW, this movie WAS really good!

I love that the creators of child movies, add a little humor in them for the parents who are forced to watch them.

Rio does this brilliantly!

Not only is it a movie packed full of vibrant color, from all the tropical birds to the scenery but the climax of the movie takes place during Carnivale, it also has a star studded cast.

Anne Hathaway is the voice of the feisty blue female being held against her will. George Lopez is the voice behind a hilarious toucan that tries to help Blue and Jewel get together. Tracey Morgan voices a little off but lovable bull dog that is also on the Macaws’ side. Not to mention, Jamie Foxx, Will.I.AM., Wanda Sykes and Jane Lynch.

Rio is both a cute movie for the kids AND a funny movie for the parents.

The only part that was a little disturbing was a character named Nigel who is a very evil and very scary looking Cockatoo. I mean, this bird is wicked nuts and if I were a child between the ages of 2-6, I’d probably end up deathly terrified of them.

There are a few times in this movie where what happened should have been his untimely demise was a bit much for little kids, in my opinion, and one time I was just openly shocked at what they did to this crazy bird, but it’s not what it looked like.

That’s all I can tell you without ruining it.

However, he does have a funny-evil side – in one part of the movie he breaks out in a song and even does a rap impersonation of Weird Al Yankovic.

Other than that, Rio has the normal formula of the awkward meeting of two people (and birds), the attraction they all deny and the funny sidekicks (a crazy little yellow bird that wears a bottle cap as a hat. Voiced by Jaimie Fox) that try to bring them together.

There is also a very funny scene that reminded be a little of West Side Story, when some wild monkeys and birds have a hilarious battle royale.

Rio also in a round about way brings up the topic of the very real issue of animal trafficking and how dangerous to different species it has become.

All in all, it was a great movie that I secretly cannot wait to watch again with my little boy and long for the time when I will be able to finish it one sitting.

I recommend this movie to animal lovers, parents, and anyone looking for a good, clean laugh.

Review written by: Jenn P.

Filed Under: Animals/Pets, Children, JournalStone, Movie Reviews, Movies Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Catalina Otalvaro, Check your Grocery Bags!

June 18, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Catalina Otalvaro was on Uncoached.com yesterday and happened to catch my eye.  As tends to happen I figured why not write a blog post about her and see if anyone else is as interested as I am.  Then I realized I didn’t know much about her other than the fact that she is from Colombia and just happens to be drop dead gorgeous.  Something about that naturally tan skin and those lips sends shivers down my spine.  I do love a girl with an exotic allure about her and Catalina Otalvaro seems to have that in abundance.

After the above revealing facts I was left with nothing so I thought why not combine my thoughts into a frivolous collage of meaningless words.  Damn, some of you might think that is all I ever do but alas, on most occasions, I tend to be more systematic than that.  I personally might define it as anal even.  It was this morning that I was stunned with the revelation that my attention to detail might be wavering in my old age.  Damn, maybe I am spending too much time on the internet and my eyes are going bad.

A few days ago my girlfriend was walking our two dogs.  We have a large black lab named Delilah and a small Chihuahua mix named Mr. Bean.  Damn, I just lost some man points with that one didn’t I?  As she was walking the dogs Delilah stopped, squirmed around for a few minutes, positioned her butt just right and let go a massive mound of diarrhea.  Yes, it is disgusting.  As luck would have it the owner of the yard was standing a few feet away, looking on with a tightly drawn frown on his face.

Since my girlfriend is very conscientious she pulled out her plastic Safeway bag and attempted to pick it up.  Maybe she was a little nervous with the owner standing there, but she let the bag slip and stuck her entire hand full up to the palm, fingers and all, directly in the pile of mush.  Insert laughter here.  Now, while I might have been laughing internally when she told me this story, I did attempt to keep my smirks under control while she was telling it.  She wasn’t very happy if you can imagine.  After controlling her gag reflex and doing her best to clean up the runny pile she turned and left the owner, who did nothing but stare at the entire episode.

Now between you and me I have had a good laugh at this story over the past couple of weeks and even told a few friends.  It is pretty damn funny in my opinion.  Until this morning that is.  My girlfriend hasn’t walked the dogs much since that fateful day and is currently in LA.  I tend to be the one waking up at 6 AM and walking them around the block until they find the elusive perfect spot to relieve themselves.  This morning was no exception, so I grabbed my Safeway bags, hooked up the dogs to their leashes and headed out.

As was normal Delilah, who now loves this guy’s yard, picked it again to drop her morning pile of rubbish.  I grabbed my Safeway bag, turned it inside out and picked it up.  It was then that I discovered the hole in the bag as my fingers wrapped around her excrement and I squeezed them closed before realizing what was occurring.  I swear to God, dog owners must really love those damn beasts to put up with this kind of crap.  Literally.  So the moral of the story is 1.  Make damn sure there are no holes in your bags, 2. Don’t laugh at your girlfriend if she grabs a pile of crap with her hands, and 3.  If you have kids, make them walk the damn dogs.

Sometimes I feel like a nut and sometimes it isn’t as fun on the receiving end of a disgusting story.  Damn, it is still funny about my girlfriend though.  Just please dear God don’t tell her I told anyone what happened.

Check out Duncan’s Diary: Birth of a Serial Killer on Amazon. It is a killer book.

You can find it on Kindle here  Duncan’s Dairy on Kindle

Filed Under: Animals/Pets, Duncan's Ladies, life, Personal, Women Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Monkey Business

March 22, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Being alone with the monkeys in the monkey house seemed like a good idea at the time! But there is a big difference between having one monkey on your head and having seven. Plus, by the time I was done my four hour volunteer shift, I was covered head to toe in monkey shit. I’ve never smelled better!

The Jaguar Animal Rescue Center is located on the Caribbean coast of Costa Rica, just down the road from my house, in Cocles. The ten dollars for the one and a half hour tour goes 100% to the center. Besides, the tour is more than worth the cost. Wild cats, hawks, caimans, frogs, sloths, owls, dozens of snakes, and monkeys are just some of the animals you will see and learn about on the tour.

And you get to go into the monkey house. Ten bucks to play with the monkeys? It’s the best deal going!

After I went on a tour, I decided I wanted to volunteer. The job has been a little bit messier than I thought, but it’s also been loads of fun. We got a pair of one-month old monkeys in the other day. The monkeys like to hang out on our heads. Can you think of anything cuter than having a baby monkey in a sock on your head?

All eight of the monkeys have their own, unique personalities, along with names that the workers have given them. The two youngest (before the babies arrived) are Marilyn Monroe and Angelina Jolie; they think they’re the stars of the Jaguar Rescue Center and act accordingly. Minimo is the brattiest and likes to chew on camera straps, break sunglasses, and suck on your hair. Congalita has a lady beard, and is the oldest and therefore the head of the pack. Being a lady with a beard is really only something a monkey can pull off!

My favorite animal at the center, though, is Sleepy the three-toed sloth. He has a perpetual smile on his face and loves everyone he sees. Sleepy will hang out on my stomach, like an infant, with his arms wrapped around me, looking up at me with that smile. How can my heart not melt?

Encar and Sandro, the owners, started the Jaguar Rescue Center in their home. The center has now expanded into a compound complete with frog pond, horse stables, barns, animal houses, terrariums, and gardens. The Jaguar Rescue Center relies entirely upon private donations and the money made from the tours. At the end of the day, this doesn’t amount to very much. Still, with the help of the workers and volunteers, the successful tours, and the hard work of Sandro and Encar, the center is thriving.

The tours start at 9:30am and 11:30am. Arrive about ten minutes prior to the start, and don’t be late or the tour will begin without you! And remember, hide your camera straps and your glasses, and watch out for Minimo! She’s like curious George, always getting into mischief.
http://www.jaguarrescue.com/

Photo Credit: Chiao Mei Lin http://www.evesorange.com/

Filed Under: Animals/Pets, life, The Traveling Belly Dancer, Travel Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Jo Louise will be in Playboy, Peanuts you say?

February 3, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Are you telling me you have not heard of Jo Louise?  I don’t get how some people make it through life on a whim and a fingernail.  Can’t you figure out what end is up and what end is down?  If you can’t then you shouldn’t have to ask why you are single.  I could tell you in less time than it takes me to flip you back over.  Jo Louise is an up and coming model.  My advice is to keep an eye out for her.  The way things are going I might have to keep more than just an eye.  Damn, with the way the sun is glaring on my computer screen I might not have an eye to even give.

Jo Louise has been in some of the typical English magazines.  Zoo, Page 3, Nuts etc.  I personally like a magazine that would name itself Nuts.  There is just something to be said for a name.  I don’t care if a rose would still be a rose by any other name damn it.  It is a rose and that is what it should be called.  If. on the other hand you are nuts, then live up to it.  Nuts are nuts by any other name as well.  They just might more enjoyable than other things.  If I am allowed to have my nuts lying around the house then I can only say thanks be to God above.  Not those damn little peanuts either.  I might be allergic.

I guess the most important thing is keeping track of your nuts and making sure that nobody messes with them if you don’t give the ok.  It isn’t like we donated them for research or anything.  I was reading an article in the New York Times about the book, ‘The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks’.  I guess you just can’t ever tell what will happen to your body after you go and see a doctor.  Those damn people are all over the board.  I wonder where we should draw the line at bettering Humanity.  I don’t even like most other humans.  I am a dog man myself.

I finally took my dog to the beach yesterday and she almost died within the first ten minutes.  I guess it has been a while since she ran in the ocean and hit the waves.  It is exhausting if you haven’t done it.  Not for me mind you, for the damn dog.  I just sit and watch while sipping a beer.  You might be surprised, but I can drink a beer doing almost any activity.  How do you think the game of Beer Pong got invented?  Al Gore didn’t invent everything.  At some point he had a little help from his friends.  Nothing like a little help from your friends.  I wonder how many friends Al helped all by himself.

Sometimes I feel like a nut and sometimes I don’t think you people believe me.  I say, you heard it here first.  Jo Louise will be somebody someday.  Damn, for that matter she is somebody already.  Don’t believe everything you are told.  You don’t have to be famous to be somebody.  It does help though.

Does anyone want my autograph?  Please, it will make me feel better.  Shit, I hate you people.  Not you, the other guy standing next to you.  I definitely hate that guy.  He sucks.

Check out Duncan’s Diary: Birth of a Serial Killer on Amazon. It is a killer book.

Filed Under: Animals/Pets, Book, Current Events, Duncan's Ladies, life, Women Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Kelsey Scheider, Beautiful women love horses?

February 2, 2010 By 1 Comment

Kelsey Scheider is a beautiful woman and she, like most beautiful women loves horses.  I must admit it is easy to understand.  Ever since I saw that movie as a teenager with the gorgeous blonde girl riding a horse without a top or bra, I get the connection.  I love horses as well.  Granted the movie, which I for the life of me can’t remember the name of, had panty raids, beer bongs and was primarily shot in a girls sorority house.  Whew, it almost sounds like porn.  I wonder if all teenage movies are closely related to porn.  It makes sense, doesn’t it.

Horses are not the only thing that peaks the interest of Kelsey.  She travels, has studied in Australia and has a BA in theatre, with a minor in communications.  She is also married to a gorgeous man hunk that is a model as well.  Where did I go wrong in life?  Can anyone possibly tell me what is happening?  I sit in my mother’s basement and see these beautiful people all happy and successful.  Hey, wait a minute.  If I have learned on thing in life, it is this.  Money and success do not always bring happiness.  Maybe Kelsey is miserable.  Is there hope for all of us to suffer together?

Look at Obama.  He is good looking; yes I can say that even though I am a man.  He was successful.  I can’t really say that now.  Since he has been President he seems to be doing his best to run the country into the toilet.  It is only a matter of time before he flushes, and we all take a trip down the sewer.  Stop whining people.  I might be a Republican but I voted for the Socialist.  I just didn’t have any idea at the time he would attempt to conquer our own country.  Doesn’t he know that he works for the United States?  Can’t he choose another country to destroy?

Maybe now that Obama has met with the Daili Lama he will find peace.  He won’t find it with China though.  Those dudes don’t like the Lama.  I guess  Lama man doesn’t believe in tossing little girl babies down the river, and those Chinese guys can’t relate.  Whatever happened to playing nice, picking on somebody your own size and treating your neighbor like a bastard step child that has stolen your favorite GI Joe.  Wait, that last one seems a little out of place.  Maybe would could nominate Obama for the Prime Minister role, in China.  We might be better served.

Sometimes I feel like a nut and sometimes I think about going for a run.  Kelsey Scheider likes running as well.  I guess we veer in different directions when it comes to actually doing the running.  I might think about it but then I grab a Twinkie and change my mind.  I am betting she actually runs.  Damn, foiled again.  That rascally rabbit.

Check out Duncan’s Diary: Birth of a Serial Killer on Amazon. It is a killer book.

Filed Under: Animals/Pets, Current Events, Duncan's Ladies, life, News, Politics, Women Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Miss Sonia; Beautiful, Flawed, Perfection

January 19, 2010 By 1 Comment

22 years old and a model.  I wonder how many times we might write that in a week.  If the images start blurring together you will have to forgive me.  Sometimes there are a few who stand out, but it is becoming infrequent.  I might remember a few by staring at their pictures and wondering why in the hell they ever thought they could be a model.  How some women look at their photographs and think they can make it in this business eludes me.  Now that might seem harsh but if your goal is to be a model, it is a difficult struggle, even for the gorgeous.

Every once in a while there is an exception.  A few notches well above mediocrity.  I can’t always place my finger on how or why but their photos exude personality, beauty, intrigue and excitement.  Miss Sonia (get past the goofy name) is one of the few.  I liked her photographs a lot.  She can bring out the classic beauty of the platinum blondes from the fifties and sixties while dressing up like a nurse and getting the adrenaline flowing.  While it doesn’t take a lot to pull off a photo in a nurse’s outfit she gives you something to remember.

Cowgirl, sailor, referee, why can’t more women dress up in outfits and instigate the imaginations of men everywhere?  I don’t understand the reservations that some women hold for donning some attire that might lead to an interesting encounter.  Whatever happened to meeting your girlfriend in a bar, pretending not to know each other, and then heading off to a hotel for a hot interlude?  I might have to bring up the idea with my girlfriend and see what she thinks.  What are we taught as children?  If you don’t ask you will never know the answer.

JournalStone is happy to highlight Miss Sonia for today’s blog of the hour, if only we knew her real name life would be complete.  As with all perfection we need to heed the Achilles heel.  Miss Sonia is not without flaws; her flaw is just not in her physique.  She mentions that she loves cats and not only has one but harbors three of the little vixens in her home.  Doesn’t she know what they say about cat women?  One cat for a woman is acceptable, two is pushing the limit.  Anyone who owns three or more holds the designation of a cat woman and those ladies are crazy.

While we might love Miss Sonia’s pictures and admire her beauty she does frighten us with the potential for being insane.  No offense intended to all of you cat women who might read this but there is a limit to anything.  Even the good shit.  Eat your piece of cake for your birthday.  Damn, you can even go back for seconds.  If you eat three pieces or more you might find yourself hugging the tile floor as you pray to the porcelain God.  Kneeling their wondering how many times do I have to change the cat litter to get that ammonia smell out of the damn bedroom.  The answer is just once, as long as you throw the cat out with the pan liner.

Sometimes I feel like a nut and sometimes it just isn’t fair to discover that not all beautiful women hate cats.  There are some that actually like those damn little critters.  My girlfriend owns a cat.  Do you think she will be upset when she reads this?  If anything happened to her cat today I swear I was not at home.

Check out Duncan’s Diary: Birth of a Serial Killer on Amazon. It is a killer book.

Filed Under: Animals/Pets, Duncan's Ladies, life, Personal, relationship, Relationships, Women Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Stanky Dog

January 9, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Dear Duncan,

My boyfriend owns a dog.  We have been living together for approximately one year now.  He has yet to bath his dog since I moved in and the dog smells really bad.  The dog is inside the house at all hours, sleeps next to our bed and every time I pet her I almost gag from the small.  Should I bathe the dog myself?  Should I tell him to do it?  What do you suggest?

Dear Ms. Stanky Dog,

Nobody likes a dog that reeks.  If your boyfriend’s dog stinks that badly I would suggest you stop playing with it.  I guarantee if you don’t play with your boyfriend’s dog for a few days in a row he will figure out something is wrong.  Some dudes just do not know how to groom.  If he doesn’t get the hint, then I have one other suggestion.

Take a bottle of shampoo and while his fat ass is sitting on the couch squirt it right on his crotch.  I bet he jumps in the shower soon after.  Wait, were we talking about your boyfriend being stanky or his dog?

Meanwhile give me a call.  I shower almost every day.  Most of the time anyway.

If you too would like to ask a question of Duncan please write in to duncanmoron@journalstone.com for some free advice.  No question is too stupid; I mean there are no stupid questions only stupid people.  Can’t wait to hear from you and don’t forget to hug your girlfriend/boyfriend/self today.  A hug goes a long way to populating our planet.

Filed Under: Animals/Pets, Ask Duncan, life, Personal, relationship, Relationships, Women Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sasha Grey for PETA

January 9, 2010 By 1 Comment

“Too much Sex can be a bad Thing”.  PETA just continues to impress doesn’t it.  I have not seen this photo widespread yet and could not dig up much to authenticate it so I am going out on a limb and assuming that we are good with this one.  PETA has definitely branched out in its advertising campaign lately so it wouldn’t surprise me to see them team up with Sasha Grey.  We have and will attempt to do the same if we can ever get her to call us back.  I would love to have Sasha Grey featured on JournalStone.com but I am not sure how to entice her.  Apparently my manly good looks and suave sophistication hasn’t done the trick to date.

Word has it that she was in Europe but I believe she is back at this point.  Maybe I will try her agent again and see what we can come up with.  I sent her a sweatshirt, t-shirt and even one of my books “Duncan’s Diary”.  Not that this is anything exciting but who knows.  Maybe in a year or two JournalStone.com will be huge and we will have people coming to us from all walks of life asking us for a little attention.  I am not sure that my girlfriend would enjoy gorgeous women calling me all the time so maybe it is a good thing to wallow in obscurity.  Life is quirky at times and you never know what you will find.

Especially on Craig’s List.  Now that is a freaky site.  I was perusing through twitter and saw a post attempting to sell a pole for dancing.  Yes, you heard that right a pole that is transportable and usable in your home for only $150.  I clicked on the twitter link out of curiosity and we jumped straight over to Craig’s List.  If you are interested in your very own pole to do a little show at home for the family then click on the link and make your purchase.  I have no idea what the market for a portable pole is but then again I am a recluse who doesn’t get out much.  Just be careful not to pull it out to soon, the neighbors might get a little edgy if your wife gyrates to Pink before they get to know her too well.

In the grand scheme of life I guess there are many more interesting things that could be sold on Craig’s List besides a pole for dancing but still, a pole is still a pole by any other name.  Sasha if you are out there we are still waiting to hear from you and would love to team up.  Please don’t tell my partner’s wife though.  She is a little conservative and might not understand the connection.  What is it with those religious types and there aversion to porn.  We haven’t berated the Catholic crowd in a long time now.  I wonder if we should get back into our religious rants.  I guess not.  It is the playoffs today.  Let’s just all play nice and watch some football.

Sometimes I feel like a nut and sometimes even I can be a nice guy.  Just don’t say anything to anyone.  They most likely would not believe you anyway.

Check out Duncan’s Diary: Birth of a Serial Killer on Amazon. It is a killer book.

Filed Under: Animals/Pets, Current Events, Duncan's Ladies, life, Women Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rachel Weisz makes me cry Mummy……

January 6, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Esquire is dropping Rachel Weisz into our laps again and this time she is being voted the woman that we would most like to marry.  Now Rachel will be turning 40 soon and women in their forties are well past their prime right.  I mean forty years of gravity takes its toll.  Even on us men it has some affect but women….  Well Rachel Weisz says to hell with that and these photos of her are about all the proof that a guy would need.  Damn, you get the experience and intelligence along with a smoking hot body to boot.  What man in his right mind would not go after her?  I would head out to the store this very second if I thought she would ever dream of saying yes to my proposal.

For the record I have a girlfriend and please make note that I was just joking in the above sentence.  I am not yet quite ready to marry anyone but when I am ready I will only be asking one woman.  I am stating this for the record so there should be no questions.  Now if there was a grey area then I would like to also make a note that Rachel is moving up the list.  Anyone who wears fishnet stockings has a place in my heart.  I am unsure what it is about fishnet and stockings when they are combined but they make me melt like a little puppy who has found his first bone.  Every dog loves bones.  I swear.  If I had a thousand bones one right after the other my dog would love them all.

 

My dog doesn’t like elephants though.  I have no idea where that came from but the thought just popped into an empty spot that occupied my brain for a while.  It might stem from the lady and her baby that were just ran down by a wild elephant when they were on a nature walk.  I have three kids and I warn them about possible dangers all the time.  Drugs, drinking, boys, driving, fighting, etc.  The dangers in life are too plentiful to fend off it seems.  I have never once warned them to be on the lookout for a wild rampaging elephant stampeding toward them and what they should do.  I will do that now.  Get the hell out of the way and run your ass in the opposite direction as fast as you can. 

I bet that elephant was a relative of the Ringling Brothers elephants and wanted some revenge.  He was probably saying to hell with the electro shock shit.  I will freight train your ass if you ever try any of that crap on me.  Now we have a small child and mother who are paying the price.  I for one blame Ringling Brothers and what they have done to the wild life.  I say let’s not only boycott the circus but lets also take matters into our own hands and buy some stun guns.  We can take them to the next show and when all those clowns jump out of the car lets open fire.  Nobody really gets hurt right.  It is just a little shock.  Isn’t that what they say to the elephants? 

Sometimes I feel like a nut and sometimes I find myself wanting, needing something more in life.  I think I have finally found my calling.  Can I please get Rachel Weisz’s phone number, ask her to wear those stockings and see if she would mind prodding me with one of those electric poles.  Hey, don’t knock it until you try it.  Not that I am into that kind of thing.  Not that there is anything wrong with that. 

Mummy, help me please.

Check out Duncan’s Diary: Birth of a Serial Killer on Amazon. It is a killer book.

Filed Under: Animals/Pets, Duncan's Ladies, relationship, Relationships, Women Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Marielle J (Jaffe), How do we know these things?

December 30, 2009 By 1 Comment

Marielle J (Jaffe) seems to be keeping herself busy as she prepares for her breakout year in 2010.  The first question I have is what in the hell do we call this woman.  Is it Marielle J?  Is it Marielle Jaffe?  Is it plain Marielle?  Is it Brigitte Bardot?  Apparently Marielle is doing or did a photo shoot where she reenacted a few of the poses and photographs made famous by the former actress turned animal rights activists.  I love a good animal rights conversation as much as the next guy.  I just wonder why those damn little critters don’t stand up for themselves.  Anything with teeth and claws should be able to get by in life of their own accord right.

I wonder who it is that is abusing all of these animals to begin with.  I know I have never tortured an animal personally.  I love my dog as much as the next guy.  Not sure that I can say the same for all animals but dogs are pretty damn cool.  I would have appreciated seeing Marielle at the San Anitas Race Track.  She was apparently the official race track girl either last Saturday or the Saturday before.  My days are a little confusing since all I have done the last few is lie in the sun and drink some fruity drinks with umbrellas in them.  There is nothing like a little alcohol with the heat of the tropical sun to burn the anxiety right out of you.

Apparently she has also booked a three day stint in Las Vegas doing a Magic Show.  Now I have seen the pictures just like you of Marielle and if she is going to Las Vegas to do a show I would like to attend.  Sorry I don’t know the dates or the event.  All I got was Magic Show.  She is going to have to be more descriptive in her explanations if she wants to be on our team.  Damn, I am not sure that she even wants to be on our team but that is beside the point.  Who wouldn’t want to be on our team by the way?  Now I am starting to get a little angry.  Is she dissing JournalStone.com?  Sorry, I go off on tangents that don’t always make sense but that is a girl’s prerogative.

She did beg us not to get angry with her lack of direction.  Those are my words by the way.  These damn kids now a day doing their acting/singing/horse shows/magicians/jugglers.  It makes me sick that I attempt to excel at one thing and some people excel at everything.  OMG, I really am getting angry now.  You might wonder how I know all of these things and I want to guarantee that I am not stalking the girl.  In all honesty I am not really angry either.  I never really understand the anger aspect when we can all just love one another.  Shit, she just turned the channel on the TV and I hate watching “Two and a Half Men”.  Don’t get me wrong I love the show but at some point doesn’t Charlie Sheen have to stop beating up women.

The dude has shot a woman, hit a woman and now has pulled a knife on a woman.  We all love a rich guy but don’t we want to live a life without fear for Christ’s sake.  Anyway, in the end we wish Marielle good luck.  Otherwise why in the world we would devote so much time to the girl who doesn’t even read or blog posts.  Yes Marielle, we know this for a fact.  The last one that I did on your page held on our site was offering you a free shirt if you gave a comment and you didn’t respond.  I want you to know that I am hurt.  Inside hurt, like in the heart type feelings and shit like that.  I might tell you that I shed a tear but I don’t want you to think I am less manly that I already am.

Sometimes I feel like a nut and sometimes crying is fine for a guy.  Damn, even animals cry at times if they are being tortured by corporate America who lives for nothing more than to suck the dollar right out of our pockets like a high powered Hoover vacuum cleaner.  Oh well, time to head out to the sun again.

Check out Duncan’s Diary: Birth of a Serial Killer on Amazon. It is a killer book.

Filed Under: Animals/Pets, Duncan's Ladies, Women Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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