Christopher C. Payne | JournalStone

JournalStone’s $2,000 in 2011 Publishing Contest

February 25, 2011 By Christopher C. Payne Leave a Comment

JournalStone’s $2,000 advance in 2011 Publishing Contest

Get your HORROR novel published and earn a $2,000 advance against future royalties.

JournalStone is holding its first HORROR publishing contest. Have you written a horror novel? Would you like to be published? Would you like to actually earn money for your efforts?

Submit your 75,000 words or more manuscript/novel to christophercpayne@journalstone.com on or before June 1, 2011, and you will be entered. The winner will receive a $2,000 advance against future royalties and have his/her novel published by JournalStone. Grammar counts, people. Have it edited before you submit your entry.

The #1 winner is also eligible for active membership to the HWA (Horror Writers Association). Have you always wanted to join, but haven’t met the criteria. You can now become an active member with all of its benefits and prestige!

Scared about not winning? Second prize gets a $500 advance and a published novel. Yes, you have to sign a contract first. Third place gets a $200 advance and for the last time, also gets a published novel. Not one of the top three? No worries, you might still be good enough to get your novel published, you will just have to earn your money on the royalties. We only have so much to give out for free.

Worried about costs? JournalStone is a full service publishing company that covers any and all expenses for publishing a novel. All an author is required to do is submit a freakishly scary book and rock our world.

Genre: Horror only everyone. Nothing else counts in this contest. If you have any questions on content, please send an e-mail to christophercpayne@journalstone.com.

Word Count: 75,000 words or more. No exceptions.

Submission Deadline: All submissions must be received no later than 11 p.m. Pacific time June 1, 2011. JournalStone highly recommends you submit your work early.

Editing: Please have your work edited prior to submission. Can’t afford editing? If your work is absolutely awesome, we still might read it. It might even win, but you will be one step behind the others from the start. So you are better off just getting it edited beforehand.

To submit your work, please send in a Microsoft Word document in Times New Roman 11-point font, single line spacing to christophercpayne@journalstone.com.

The tentative publication date resides in the year 2011. We want to publish novels, not sit around on our arse!

If you have been curious to find out what JournalStone Publications is all about, but didn’t know how to go about it, now is your opportunity.

If you want a copy of our basic contract just shoot me an e-mail. We have nothing to hide and will happily share it to all applicants submitting an entry.

Minimum of 20 entries required to validate contest.

Filed Under: Bottom Middle, Contests 2011 Tagged With: Crime, Current Events, Insanity, Movies, Quirky

My Life 5/19/10 Equality of Siblings

May 19, 2010 By Christopher C. Payne Leave a Comment

Moving brings to light a multitude of things that you may never have expected. How dirty it really is underneath your bed for instance. You might find out the remote control you lost was mysteriously hiding behind the TV the entire time. Maybe those socks that disappeared out of the laundry are really hiding in your dog’s blanket, which you might have been better off washing after all. Damn, those dog beds really do stink don’t they. It also, at least for me, opened up just how competitive siblings are.

I have three daughters and they are all different. Unique in their own way and all deserving of support for varying reasons. With our new house having three bedrooms, each daughter would finally have a bedroom of their very own. This should be exciting but it also is a little confrontational. The first issue was how to pick bedrooms. One of the three bedrooms actually had its own bathroom. Since my oldest daughter is angry at me, again, and again, and again, she was not staying with us. I decided to let me middle daughter have her choice and she of course picked the bedroom with a bathroom. My youngest daughter picked next and my oldest got the last one. With the exception of the bathroom, all three bedrooms are pretty much the same.

I then needed a new bedroom set. My oldest already had one and I decided to keep our bunk beds for my youngest daughter, this left my middle daughter with nothing to sleep on. I went on Craig’s List, the only way to buy furniture in my opinion, and purchased a cute set with a desk, bed, nightstand and armoire. It was really awesome. I talked to my youngest daughter, explained that we would paint the bunk beds and fix her room up as well and she was actually fine with how things were turning out. I saved the best for a surprise which she is not aware of.

Then they went to their mother’s house. As always, things have a way of shifting once they leave my home and navigate to my ex-wife’s home. My ex-wife has spent most of her life telling my two youngest how I didn’t love them as much and I only really loved my oldest. Now she must have switched this up slightly since my youngest suddenly called me and was upset about what my middle daughter was getting versus what she was getting. My ex-wife suffers from the middle child syndrome and has spent her entire life feeling like she was slighted somehow. It is so strange how my daughter’s opinions change the second they get back to their mother’s house.

I explained to my youngest daughter that she didn’t know about everything we were doing, how I really wanted her to be happy for her older sister, and how in the end we would always try to ensure that everything was equal. I love all of my daughters the same and each one would get something special in their room. It really should and I hope will be a happy day once we finally get everything moved in. The actual move is still a couple of weeks away.

I am in the process of painting the bunk beds to match the dresser that was already in my youngest daughter’s room. I am going to paint the plywood blue and have floating clouds with some of the paste on stars so every time she goes to bed she will look up and see a sky above her head. We are buying her a cute desk and have pictures of flowers all over her room. She absolutely loves flowers. My girlfriend really is amazing at picking out items to accent all of the bigger pieces of furniture. I can’t wait for it to be finished and for her to see it. In the meantime I can only imagine what her head is being filled with and how sad she must feel hearing she is getting the short end of the stick.

In the end, all three bedrooms are going to be so damn cute. How could they not be with the incredible touch my girlfriend has. The most amazing part is seeing how excited she is picking things out. She already knows each daughter so well, what they like, what their preferences are, she really does make things so easy. No wonder I have fallen in love with her so quickly. Thank God she was raised as an only child. Hmmmmm, that actually has some pretty funny issues as well, but we will save that for one of the next posts coming soon.

I now have to get back to painting. It really is a damn long project painting bunk beds. Hmmmm, maybe it would have been easier on all of us to just buy two new bedroom sets. Hahahaha, I actually think my youngest is getting the better deal. How can it get any better than to have something somebody has painted and made specifically for you. I can’t wait for her to see it.

In the meantime I have to thank my girlfriend. I might be good at the painting but I have no idea how to make a little girl’s room special. She has done an amazing job setting things up for all three of them. Nothing like living in a house with all women. I am guessing most of my stuff will end up in the garage or in the attic, as it should be. Damn, maybe I should be the one complaining about getting the short end of the stick. Hmmm, not as long as I have my amazing girlfriend I guess. There is a reason everyone is amazed at why she is with me. Once I figured it out, I will let you know as well.

Filed Under: Children, Family, life, My Life, relationship, Relationships, Women Tagged With: Children, dating, Divorce, Family, Funny, honesty, kids, life, Quirky, relationship, Relationships, teens

My Life 5/12/10 The Cure for Snoring

May 12, 2010 By Christopher C. Payne Leave a Comment

I have the ability to fall asleep within seconds of hitting the bed. It is a gift. I think several males in our species hold this gift. Not to be sexist but it does seem to be one of the virtues bestowed on the masculine sex. I also suffer from snoring, sleep apnea and all around dysfunction with any quality sleep. Maybe that is why I can fall asleep so quickly, I am tired from the lack of real rest. All of this bothers my girlfriend, who is a light sleeper and at times ventures out to the couch. Interestingly enough, I have grown accustomed to her and when she leaves, I tend to wake up. We are at constant odds with each other in the night it might appear.

But wait, there is a cure. Quite by accident she has found that if I am in the middle of snoring she has to do nothing more than rub her toes against the sole of my foot, and I stop snoring. Now who would have thought to look that one up in the encyclopedia. I have seen several cures for snoring advertised, but never was a good foot rub one of them. She will also rub my head and or back which seems to do the trick as well. I think it is her magical touch actually. She ignites some kind of electricity every time she comes near me. Is that what people are referring to when they say the world love?

So while we have finally found a way to make it through most nights in peaceful bliss, last night was an exception. I had a strange dream that she was cheating on me, and the guy she was with found the need to brag about it, right to my face. I actually woke up, angry and disturbed. How freaky is it when your fantasy emotions carry over to reality. I saw her stirring and abruptly said, “What are you doing awake?” Isn’t that a pleasant good morning, at 3 AM mind you. She was staring at me trying to figure out what in the hell she had done wrong in the last five hours, while she was sleeping.

I have no idea what dreams mean but I have heard reference several times to them carrying some kind of hidden agenda. If anyone in the known universe can tell me what my problem was, please let me know. It freaked me out a little and I don’t easily freak out. I explained to my beautiful woman what happened and she, as always, was kind and consoling. How can anyone wake up at 3 AM and still find it in their heart to be pleasant. I wasn’t even happy with myself, I would have probably cursed anyone who had woken me.

I guess the moral of the story is, if your man lies in bed snoring, you might want to just let it go. If you figure out a way to get him to stop, he will only have a bad dream, wake up, and be unpleasant to you for no reason what so ever. I personally don’t get why you women put up with us at all. Men have so many issues in the daytime, at night they are only subdued, but always bubbling there waiting to surface. Thank God that there are women on the planet to help us figure out how to navigate through the ups and downs.

I guess we should make a note that women should at least be thankful to men once a month for 3 to 5 days. Women are like the movie “The Alien”. The little beast grows inside for three weeks, pokes it’s head out for a few days then recedes for its gestation period until next month. Still, all in all, I will give women the upper hand and admit, men can be a pain in the ass between the hours of 1o PM and 5 AM. I guess that is why we have each other, to torture till death do us part. I mean love damn it. That wasn’t even funny.

Filed Under: life, My Life, relationship, Relationships, Women Tagged With: date, dating, Funny, honesty, life, love, relationship, Relationships, Romantic, woman, Women

My Life 5/11/10 Scared at Eight

May 11, 2010 By Christopher C. Payne Leave a Comment

There are several emotions you should feel when you are eight years old. Excitement at discovering so many new things, happiness at your birthday, anticipation of opening Christmas presents and what Santa might have left under the tree. Eight years old is a time when the world is school, the playground, your house, homework and what adventures you might find underneath the rock in the back yard. The one thing you should not feel at eight years old, is fear. At least, fear of your own family.

Since we are preparing for another move I was working with my two youngest daughters on filtering through their belongings. Our goal was to donate anything. Toys that had lost their sparkle and were no longer used, along with any clothes that had long ago been outgrown. The one thing I can say is an eight year old grows so fast it is almost crazy. As most people know my two younger daughters are eight and thirteen. My oldest daughter is sixteen and is living with her mother full time, since she is yet again angry at me. At sixteen years old she seems to be angry all the time at somebody for something. It is a sad way to spend your teen years, which are hard enough in the best of times.

As we were cleaning up stuff and throwing it away, I came across a single sheet of paper that was folded in half. I opened it up, and on it was written, “Page 1, Dear Diary. (I am scared) My oldest sister and daddy and mommy are all screaming. What shall I do? this happens an alfull lot.”

First, and for the record, I don’t read anybody’s diary. It was a single sheet of paper and I had no idea what it was when I read it. I actually didn’t even notice the words “dear diary” at the top until I had read the rest of the paper. Second, my heart broke a little when I read what she had written. Since my ex-wife doesn’t come over here that often there is only one day that I can think of that she might be referring to. There has only been one time that my oldest daughter, my ex-wife and I have sat down and discussed anything in the last several months.

My ex-wife had discovered my oldest attempting to do something and was so concerned she wanted the three of us to discuss it. As with all conversations involving my oldest teen, it became intense and she began screaming at us. I still have no idea how or why she believes she can speak to adults this way, but I can say that I have had enough. The rule in my house is simple. She either respects adults and refrains from cussing me out, or she can stay at her mother’s house. If I was her mother I would tell her the same. At some point maybe she would get the message.

Currently that isn’t the case. Interestingly enough, I am now fully acknowledging having three daughters. I think I have always done this but I have to continue telling myself that so I don’t feel I am being unfair. My middle one is showing signs of rebellion which are concerning. My youngest is afraid of the screaming. How do you balance the needs of all three equally. Do I want my youngest sitting in her room afraid of her family? Do I want my middle daughter learning the bad behavior her older sister engages in? What about my older daughter who is obviously crying out for help but living under the rules associated with, well I don’t know really.

Jesus, I have no idea what to do anymore. I can say on the times that my oldest daughter is here, we do not engage her anymore. As a rule everyone leaves the room when she begins screaming in the hopes that this will mitigate the situation. Maybe they are they all just emulating the behavior of myself and their mother. I have not always done the best at keeping my voice under control, although I have never cussed any of them out. Maybe it is my fault entirely, but if it is how do I correct it. I would happily accept the blame if that would help the situation. My youngest daughter didn’t say her sister scared her, she said all three of us scared her. That alone says we are all at fault, it isn’t just my oldest daughter.

I really am at a loss. I love all three of my daughters but balancing their individual needs is trying. Is it possible to skip the teenage years and have them back once they graduate from college? I guess there are billions of people living on the planet so most people must make it past these insane times, but it sure seems impossibly difficult while you are in the midst.

I don’t agree with many things my parents did when I was growing up but one thing is for sure, now that I am older I sympathize with them more than ever. I can only imagine all three of my daughters will say the same when they are grown and have teenagers themselves. I just hope I make it that far.

Filed Under: Children, Divorce, Family, life, My Life, Personal, relationship, Relationships, Women Tagged With: Children, date, dating, Divorce, Family, honesty, kids, life, love, relationship, Relationships, teens, woman, Women

My Life 5/5/2010 A Mexican Birthday

May 5, 2010 By Christopher C. Payne Leave a Comment

Another month and another birthday. My oldest daughter was born May 5, 1994. If you can do the math that makes her sixteen. It is hard to believe I have a sixteen year old girl. I guess in my reality, it almost feels like I don’t most of the time. She is back with her mother again, not talking to me. I think this makes two birthdays and two Christmases we have missed in a row now. She is still jumping back and forth, but somehow always seems to be mad at me over the holidays. It still bothers me and I miss her, but I have finally decided there is not much I can do about. Life still moves on, so all I can do is wait for her to get over it and come back. Eventually they always do.

So without a birthday to celebrate we ventured out to a Mexican bar/restaurant. A couple of my girlfriend’s friends were meeting us. My good Irish buddy and his wife were supposed to go, but, wait for it………….. He never called me back. That dude has more ideas for going out than most people I know. Interestingly he just never seems to follow through on most of them. Well, the party must go on as they say. So I was forced to spend the night alone with three women. There are definitely worse things in life that might be forced upon a man on a Wednesday evening.

We arrived early so we got a sandwich at Gordon Biersch before heading to our final Mexican destination. It seems we have a sudden fetish for Palo Alto. Between my girlfriend and me, we will have spent four out of the last six nights having drinks there. Being Cinco de Mio it is a must that you spend the evening at a Mexican establishment. It is just the nature of things. You can’t cross Mother Nature.

We sat down and I ordered a Margarita. It turned out to be the biggest damn Margarita I had ever drunk. It was 32 ounces and the glass stood over a foot high. It was bigger than my head. I began the evening sober, but it ended it slurring my words and stumbling to the car. I am lucky my girlfriend so graciously took care of me. In-between my gulping hobby, we met some new people and had a grand time. I don’t really understand the dynamics but I somehow attract people when I am drinking in a bar. Our table became the hub of activity for the middle age intoxicated crowd. Hey, we need to have fun too.

I seem to remember the ladies passing around phone numbers and contact information, so hopefully we can all get together again. For the record there were very few guys hanging out at the bar. If you are a dude and you want to meet women, I have a suggestion for you. Get your ass off of the couch and head to a bar now and then. The ratio of women to men will be in your favor. I don’t have to pay much attention since I have a beautiful woman already, but for the rest of you it could be fun to do more than watch baseball on TV.

We made it home safe and sound; my girlfriend gave me some Advil and a huge glass of water and put me to bed. She laughed the next morning telling me I was asleep by the time she walked the few feet from my side of the bed over to hers. I am not sure I would call it asleep, more like passed out really. All I can say is it is a good thing I don’t drink like that very often anymore. I can honestly remember only having one Margarita for the evening, but that was one big ass drink.

We did discover something interesting. Apparently when I drink 32 ounces of Margarita, I don’t snore. Now if there was only a way I could do this every night, and keep my sanity, my girlfriend would be as happy as I am. We will have to try the theory out the next time the kids are at their mom’s house. My only problem is needing a week to recover per ounce drank. The body doesn’t seem to work quite as well as it used to.

Filed Under: Children, Family, Holidays, life, My Life, Personal, relationship, Relationships, Women Tagged With: Children, date, dating, Family, Funny, honesty, kids, life, love, Quirky, relationship, Relationships, teens, woman, Women

My Life 4/30/10 So much for Good Intentions

April 30, 2010 By Christopher C. Payne Leave a Comment

Well, I started out the year thinking I would write a “My Life” blog post every few days, it has now been over three months since my last post. I am not quite keeping up with my commitment to say the least. I will be attempting to fill in some of the blanks this week. If you are interested in this series you might want to check back in a few days and look at the history. It will begin to populate quickly I hope, since I have missed some important dates and activities. My middle daughter’s birthday for one. It was a big one as well.

This specific post will focus primarily on my eight year old daughter since she wrote another story. She is turning into quite the little reader as well. We will be moving houses in the next few weeks (which is another story) and my girlfriend was talking with her about TV’s in the bedroom. My daughter actually said, “I would prefer not to have a TV in my bedroom in the new house so I can read more”. HELLO. Is there a child alive that says this in today’s society? While I didn’t hear it firsthand, I almost fell out of bed when my girlfriend told me. How crazy is that.

So I received a text from my eight year old yesterday and it stated the following. This was a text message keep in mind.

THE STORY OF THE TALKING ERASERS

once there lived a pencil but the pencil was lonely it was the only pencil in town one night before bed time the pencil decided to run away so the next morning the pencil set off with only a small suitcase and three dollars in is hands he used one dollar for a train ticket but he coudnet decide where to go the driver said whaere to the pencil said i don’t know! So the driver said how about pencil city! The pencil said wow i never heard of a place like that before one ticket to pencil city coming up! The pencil couldent wait to see all the pencils there but missed his family back at home. He said to the driver turn the train around i am going home the driver said (no!) so the pencil had a plan she would tell the driver that there was a fire in the train so she did aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Fire! So the driver came rushing to the back of the train and the pencil sliped by the driver and turned the wheel around and around and around until they were almost home the driver tried to stop the pencil but it was to late they were now heading home the pencil was safe at home but the pencil had to sweep up the erasers house every day the pencil dident like that but he did it any way mom don’t like doing this i know hoeny

Did I mention this was a text?

My only guess is her mother was making her sweep the floor or something. I am not really sure. I can say this little girl has such a wonderful imagination. If I look back on these posts in a few years and I haven’t done my job to help cultivate this creativity then I should be strung up and beaten. Her mind is amazingly vivid and shows a vast abundance of flowing thoughts. I wish I had half of her intelligence, and she is only eight.

Anyway, just thought I would share. Remember to check for some new posts coming up soon but you will have to look back at the old dates to find them. I should be doing quite a few this week.

Thanks everyone, have a good weekend.

Filed Under: Children, Family, life, My Life, Personal, relationship, Relationships, Women Tagged With: advice, Children, date, dating, Family, Funny, honesty, kids, life, love, relationship, Relationships, Romantic, teens, woman, Women

My Life 4/25/10 Disneyland for Two!

April 25, 2010 By Christopher C. Payne Leave a Comment

I don’t want to say I am a genius, but if the shoe fits…… Hahahaha. I had suggested that we buy season passes to Disneyland back in November, when we first went. My girlfriend’s dad lives in Anaheim. She had been very skeptical, thinking it didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t until my parents offered to chip in that she relented. They gave us some money for the kids’ tickets for Christmas. Now wasn’t that sweet of them. I am sure that my mother will be reading this someday, so can everyone please tell her what a good job she did.

Luckily we bought them, and since we were heading down for the weekend, we brought our passes with us. My oldest daughter didn’t come because she isn’t talking to me again. We seem to be on this revolving door with her being around for a few months, and then not ever wanting to see me again for a few months. Currently she is in the living with her mom phase. I am sure that will change at the next big altercation between the two, but for now she is not around. My middle daughter, who just turned 13 in April, decided to hang out with her friends. That left just my 8 year old and my girlfriend for our weekend trip.

My girlfriend was spending a few days with her dad, but we were all driving down to LA together. Long story…..well I can’t really say short since I am still talking but I guess I am at least to the point. That meant that my 8 year old and myself would be going to be in Disneyland together for the day. Just the two of us. How often does the third child in any family get to spend alone time with a parent. It just doesn’t seem to happen that often. I know her mother never has time for it, unless they are sitting in front of the TV watching “Friends”. Anyway….. This is supposed to be a happy blog post.

So my 8 year old daughter and myself got up early, got ready, and we hit the park doors at 8:30 AM on Sunday April 25th, 2010. We road “Space Mountain” first of course, and after that we followed her every whim to whatever ride she wanted to go on next. The lines were not that long, and even though ever fourth ride seemed to be under maintenance, we had a grand time. We managed to ride “Splash Mountain” twice and on the second round, much to her smiling face, I had to sit in the very front. I got completely soaked, which she kept happily telling the person behind her, who she didn’t even know. hahahahaha

After riding every ride imaginable and most of them twice we headed over to California Adventure around 3 PM. We still had a long afternoon and evening ahead of us. Since she loves roller coasters, and since this was her first trip being big enough, we managed to jump on “Screaming California” (I think that is what it is called) and she loved it. It was her first time going on an upside down roller coaster, and she couldn’t get enough of it. I kept reminding her, right up until blast off to keep her head back. At the starting point it shoots off like a rocket. plastering your head and body against the seat. The first time I ever road the damn thing I thought I had broken my neck.

Around 7 PM my girlfriend met us, and my daughter of course wanted to take her on the upside down roller coaster. We both tried to talk her into going on the raft ride one more time, but by then the sun was setting and she would have no part of getting soaked. Since there were three of us, I asked my little one who she would like to sit with and she requested to be with my girlfriend, which I thought was very sweet. She said she didn’t want her to have to ride alone since it was her first time ever on the roller coaster as well. I have no idea how my girlfriend grew up in Southern California and had never been to California Adventure, but what do I know.

As I listened to them in the back, I could hear my daughter saying, “now keep your head back, really I mean it. Keep your head back. This thing shoots off like a rocket and you don’t want to hurt your neck. Keep your head back remember.” It was the cutest thing imaginable. What can I say?

We ventured back over to Disneyland for a while and left the park around 10:30 PM. If I could have scripted the day I am not sure it would have gone much better. It was a fantastic, perfect, better than I could have imagined. I had a great time. My daughter had a great time and my girlfriend got to spend a few hours with us to wrap up the day. I of course had to carry my daughter a little at the end, but she did such a fantastic job. It was amazing. She was literally asleep seconds before her butt hit the seat in the car.

When my girlfriend turned the corner in the parking lot we both heard a loud thud, and when I turned around it was my daughters head. She had lost so much control that even with a slight turn her head had landed squarely on the side of the door. It didn’t even faze her. She just kept right on sleeping. It was a long drive for a weekend trip, one that I hope we do more often but it was one of the best days that I have ever with my youngest. I love her so damn much.

If my older daughter has taught me anything it is how much I have to cherish them when I can. It doesn’t take long before they head off on their own. I wish it didn’t have to be kicking and screaming but then again as parents, we don’t always get to choose.

Filed Under: Children, Divorce, Family, life, My Life, Personal, relationship, Relationships, Women Tagged With: Children, date, dating, Divorce, Family, Funny, honesty, kids, life, love, relationship, Relationships, Romantic, teens, woman, Women

My Life 4/18/10 Happy and Sad Day!

April 18, 2010 By Christopher C. Payne Leave a Comment

Should we delve into the good news first or the bad news. It is always a dilemma. If you start off with the good news you then have to finish with the bad news. Nobody wants to end something on a sour note. So it seems logical then that you would start off with the bad. If you start off with the bad news you might not ever even get to the good news. What then. You just wander through life as a middle aged Catholic furnace filter salesperson. How depressing would that be? So, the never ending conundrum. What to do, what to do.

OK, so let’s get the bad out of the way. My older daughter, who is on a continuous pendulum, is no longer living at my house. She got angry this time because we were late for an appointment, and didn’t have time to take her to the movies. Now if we inject some details in the story we actually told her that we were leaving for twenty minutes, up until we finally ran out of time. I know that doesn’t matter in the end, but just thought I would throw that in there. So in order to reconcile I was invited to a few sessions with her counselor to work on communication.

Now, I am a guy, so communication is always something I can do better. I sometimes think I am saying one thing, but I guess something completely different is coming out. Either that or women in general are hearing one thing, but something completely different is being said. Flip a coin. On a side note I now think it is a good idea for all teenagers to seek counseling. Additionally I think all parents of teenagers should seek counseling. I actually think that anyone who even says the word teenager should seek counseling. I think I still need counseling from when I was a teenager.

So I had gone to our first session the week before and it was interesting. My daughter would state something, and I had to paraphrase back to her what I heard. Great exercise by the way. It was difficult to hear, since I disagreed with so many aspects of her interpretation, but that is why there are disagreements. If they didn’t exist, then nobody would have any issues. I continually tell my girlfriend that she should stop questioning why my ex-wife can’t be reasonable. If she was reasonable, and we got along, I might not have ever gotten divorced. Damn, it just goes in continuous circles.

So today was session number two. I didn’t show up. Now before you hang me up by my neck and swing me from the rafters, I thought for certain that it wasn’t decided. I could have sworn that I was told somebody would call me if I was supposed to go, and nobody did. Now with my memory, and lack of planning skills, I am sure that I was told to be there and just forget. I really need to get my act together. Hahaha, I guess you might say if I was a better planner maybe my wife wouldn’t hate me. Damn, there are always two sides to every story.

So my daughter was very disappointed and angry. Putting herself out there and attempting to open up, and I don’t even make it to the appointment. I have no excuse. As devastated as she was, I was crushed.

So for ever step forward we seem to take a couple of steps back. At this rate we will be on polar opposite ends of the earth before she hits twenty. Since she is turning sixteen soon that might be ok for a while. I think she would have run me over with the car if she would have been driving. I apologized profusely and will attempt to make it up to her. If I expect her to admit her mistakes, I have to do the same, and in this case I royally screwed up. See, I am not as perfect as you might think. Insert joke here.

Ok, can we have a bit of good news? It doesn’t come anywhere near offsetting the bad news, but I finished my second book today. Writing is complete and now we head to the editing process. I love the book, the ending, the story, the entire thing. No murders in this book, but it is a tragic story with a rough finale. I actually cried when I wrote a few parts. I guess that is appropriate since I am going to title it “Learning to Cry”, which my oldest daughter help me pick out by the way.

I sure hope she is with me to enjoy it when it is published. I miss her no matter how much or often we might disagree.

Filed Under: Children, Divorce, Family, life, My Life, Personal, relationship, Relationships, Women Tagged With: Children, date, dating, Divorce, Family, Funny, Insanity, kids, life, love, relationship, Relationships, teens, woman, Women

My Life 4/15/10 A crazy day!

April 15, 2010 By Christopher C. Payne Leave a Comment

The past couple of weeks we have been looking at new houses to possibly rent. Our current temporary home is a little tight on the days when all three girls visit, especially since there is only one bathroom. Can you imagine four ladies of varying ages figuring out how to primp and pamper according to a schedule, IN ONE BATHROOM. It is a little crazy to say the least. I think they actually do a good job but there are times when the two oldest daughters get a little grumpy. Well, let’s be serious, the two oldest are grumpy most of the time, the one bathroom dilemma just adds to the already heightened anxiety level.

So while we were content where we were it would still be nice to have something a little bigger. My girlfriend spent some time looking around just to see what was out there. Our criteria was a little constricted since we didn’t want to pay much more money than where we were, and we also didn’t want to move out of the area. We needed more bathrooms and ideally more bedrooms. The only thing my middle child asked to receive for her upcoming birthday was a bedroom of her own. All together now, ahhhhhhhhh.

After looking around we set up some appointments and saw a few places. Nothing really panned out. Then on April 15th we ventured over to San Mateo, right on the border of Burlingame, and saw our dream home. 4 bedrooms, an office, 3 and a half bathrooms, and twice the space. The best part was its price. It was slightly more than what we were spending, but not very much. Interestingly we almost missed our appointment to see the house. Normally it is me who forgets what he is doing but this time around it actually wasn’t my fault.

We received a call around 6:15 asking us where we were and my girlfriend panicked not remembering anything about agreeing to see the place. We debated about rushing over and finally decided to bight the bullet and do it. Damn, I am so happy we did. After weighing the pros and cons we signed the lease and are moving. This will be my sixth move in the last two years. Now in my middle age it just doesn’t seem right to be moving this often. I guess that is one of the many joys of heading down the route of divorce.

I moved out of my family home and lived in an apartment for 6 months while I found a home. I then moved into the house I am now in. When my wife sold our family home, I moved all the leftover furniture she so graciously let me keep, mostly the crap she just didn’t want. I then had to move all of my belongings out of my house in the mountains when that went away. Then came my girlfriend. When she moved in that was number five. Now we are moving one big pile of junk all into another rental. Damn, I might end up having to buy this place just so I don’t have to move again.

My middle daughter might be the most excited. Not only does she get her own bedroom she actually gets a bathroom all to herself. Since my oldest daughter is not speaking to me again, my middle daughter was the oldest child around, so she got first pick. She almost can’t stand the ever building anticipation. How cool will that be? She is going from sharing a bathroom with four other people to having one for her very own. On the down side we have made it very clear that she will be cleaning it. I will have weekly inspections just to make sure it doesn’t get disgusting.

I think the most exciting thing is all of us having a place they will be ours. My girlfriend moved in with me at my current house and I think that is always difficult. Routines were established, parking was habitual, little intricacies were already known. This will be our house and we will move in together. She will get to decorate and put things where she wants without anything already being in place. If I had to guess most of my stuff might end up in the garage, of which there are two, his and hers.

June 1, 2010 should be a fun day.

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My Life 4/03/10 Another teenager, OMG!

April 3, 2010 By Christopher C. Payne Leave a Comment

April 3, 2010 is my middle daughter’s birthday. She turned 13 years old. Damn, another one bites the dust. Just when you think you are out, wait a minute, I never thought that. My oldest is almost sixteen and she thinks she is thirty. So the real question is what do you get a girl who is turning thirteen and doesn’t like anything. I give up. That was the pretext of our big day, how could we possible have any idea what to do.

We spent the prior four weeks continuing to ask my daughter what she would like to do and what presents she would like to have. Her response was always, “I don’t know”. We gave her ideas, clothes, shoes, seeing a movie, going out to dinner, bungee jumping, nothing worked. It was easy for her to tell us what she didn’t like, but she was having trouble telling us what she did like. None of our ideas were met with a positive response. We were perplexed and the last thing I wanted was to disappoint her. I would leave that up to my ex-wife. Hahahaha, is it possible for me to go even one post without jabbing at my poor ex-wife. I guess not, but I will try harder in the future.

We finally decided to take her shopping the weekend before her birthday. Lucky for us she did find a couple of shirts and some misc. clothes that she found acceptable. In the end, it was my girlfriend who came up with the idea of what to do on the big day. She suggested that we take her downtown San Francisco, head into Macy’s, hand her a $100 gift card and let her pick out whatever she wanted. Afterwards we would venture up to the Cheesecake factory and have lunch, then head over to the surprise event afterwards. It was brilliant.

Shopping was met with mild success. It was raining that day so both teenagers were whining like they were made of sugar. My eight year old and girlfriend took the inclement weather in stride. I have never heard so much crying about a little rain. You would have thought the world was coming to an end. We finally ended up heading over to the Uggs store and she purchased a new set of boots. Living on the coast, all three girls love wearing Uggs. Sadly my oldest had a mild meltdown because she was not allowed to purchase any as well. I guess her friend had spilled paint on hers and they were no longer useful. We stuck to our guns though. We had all agreed the theme of the day was all about my thirteen year old, and nobody else would be getting anything.

We then meandered up to the Cheesecake factory for lunch, and a nice meal. My girlfriend and I drank a couple of the spiciest bloody mary’s ever made. Then we checked out the dessert. Now of all things, my daughter decided she didn’t want any dessert. I couldn’t figure it out. When everyone else took a bathroom break I told her she had to order something, so finally she settled on chocolate chip cheesecake. When it came, she devoured it, barely taking time to breath.

I couldn’t figure this part out so I finally asked her why she was so leery of getting any to begin with. She finally fessed up. Her aunt had made some cheesecake a couple of years ago and she hated it. It was some exotic flavor that threw her off, and she figured all cheesecake tasted like that. Now that her horizon had been broadened, she is not only a fan of cheesecake but she is a lover of the creamy substance. She is normally pretty good at trying things and it is times like this that help propel that notion. I personally never pass anything up with cake in the title. I will always give it a go.

Now it was time for the big event. We headed over to a Karaoke outlet, rented a room and commenced singing, (screaming), at the top of our lungs. I have never seen three kids below so loudly and none of them on tune. Not that I was helping mind you. The only one who might have been in tune was my girlfriend, but she was singing so softly nobody could hear her anyway. We managed to make it almost two hours. By the end we had all lost our voices and were exhausted. I hadn’t realized that singing was so aerobic.

We drove the girls to their mother’s house since it was Friday and our week was over. It turned out to be the perfect day. Chalk another one up for the girlfriend. She came through with the perfect plan to make the event special and filled with fun. Even my sixteen year old daughter had a good time, despite hanging out with us old folks.

Happy Birthday beautiful girl. I love you so much I can’t begin to express the quantity at times. You are a beautiful special girl and I am so proud of you.